Seeking the guidance of a therapist is a wonderful way to fix your family’s communication problems and start the process of healing. But selecting a family therapist can be a daunting task, particularly when you are already struggling with emotionally pain or anxiety.

To help you with your selection process, here are four questions you should ask when looking for a family therapist.

1.Should I Find a Provider that Takes Insurance or Cash Pay?

Therapy is as much a financial commitment as it is an emotional one, and not everyone will be able to pay out of pocket for counseling. That’s why it’s important to understand your funding options before you begin therapy and potentially wind up with a bill you can’t pay.

There are different advantages to insurance and cash pay.

When you pay cash for treatment, you have far more privacy. In fact, the only ones who need to ever know you are in treatment are you and your therapist. Also, when you pay cash, you are not forced to search for an in-network therapist, but rather have more options when it comes to selecting someone who specializes in an area you’re interested in. And, since many therapists offer clients a sliding scale, no one should assume they can’t afford to pay cash.

Using insurance to pay for therapy means having less options and privacy, but it is significantly cheaper to get care.

2. Do I Know Anyone Who Can Recommend a Good Therapist?

Often, some of the greatest connections and therapeutic relationships come from personal recommendations. Before you flip through the yellow pages or do a Google search, check with close friends and family to see if they can recommend a therapist in your local area. When you know that a close friend or family member feels safe with a specific counselor, it will help alleviate any anxiety during that first session.

3. What Are Our Goals?

Every family comes to counseling with their own unique set of hopes and expectations. Knowing your goals before you start therapy will help you and your therapist know what you expect from the entire process. Before you attend that first session, sit down as a family and think about what you hope to gain from your time in therapy.

4. Do We Have Any Specific Preferences in a Therapist?

Do you have any preferences when it comes to the gender of your therapist? For many, gender doesn’t matter, but for some families, especially those with young children, having a female counselor over a male, or vice versa, may have a positive influence on the counseling process.

Do you want your therapist to specialize in a specific disorder or an addiction?

How about their trainings and background?

All of these factors can play a part in the process of choosing the right counselor for you.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Many people wish they could belong to a family that resembles the Brady Bunch. But the truth is, most of us belong to families that are not nearly as perfect or copacetic.

Families are as complicated as the individuals who make them up. Though each family is entirely unique, all can benefit from family therapy. Counseling can help family members improve communication and resolve conflicts.

Here are 5 amazing outcomes that can come from family therapy.

1. Surviving Those Teenage Years

It has been said that parents face the most challenges during the toddler and teenage years. That’s probably because teenagers often act like toddlers. While teenage angst is common and normal, many teenagers struggle with anxiety, huge mood swings, and other mental health issues. Family therapy helps parents and children not feel alone and assists them in communicating feelings and expectations.

With this in mind, it’s a great idea to connect with a good therapist during the pre-teen years so a relationship can be built and nurtured. That way as difficult situations arise in later years, you have someone you know and trust who can help you.

2. Gain Important Skills and Tools

It would be so much easier to be a parent if the job came with some kind of training manual. Since it doesn’t, many parents, who perhaps didn’t have the best examples given to them by their own parents, struggle to raise their children the right way.

Parenting can be much less daunting and more fun when you have the right skills and tools at your disposal. For instance, learning positive ways to communicate with your child, constructive ways to discipline, and how to avoid power struggles.

While it can be helpful to speak with supportive friends and look for advice within the pages of books and magazines, there is something uniquely beneficial to family therapy.

3. All Families Can Benefit

Many people assume they have to be in a full-blown crisis before they should seek counseling, but this is simply not true. All families can benefit from family therapy. This is because in therapy, everyone gets a chance to be heard. And any problems, whether big or small, can be dealt with in a productive way.

Family therapy offers tremendous benefits, including:

1. Better understanding of healthy boundaries, family patterns and dynamics
2. Enhanced communication
3. Improved problem solving
4. Deeper empathy
5. Reduced conflict and better anger management skills

4. Cultivate Self-Worth

Family therapy is a type of counseling that helps family members improve communication and resolve conflicts. Session are typically led by either a clinical social worker, psychologist, or licensed therapist.

Unlike individual therapy, where people may participate in weekly sessions          for years, family therapy is intended to be short-term. Session may include all family members, or just those who are willing and able to attend.

Treatment plans are unique and will be based on your family’s personal issues and goals. With that said, all sessions focus on teaching skills to rebuild, or in some cases build, family connections and cope with problems as a loving and cohesive unit.

Problems commonly addressed are martial or financial problems, conflict between children and parents, and the impact of mental illness or substance abuse on the entire family.

Family therapy can be pursued at the same time as a member is in individual therapy. For instance, if a family member is suffering from depression, the entire family is affected and can benefit from open discussion of the issue in family therapy. The person suffering from depression will also continue with his or her individualized treatment plan, which may include medications, one-on-one counseling or other treatment.

What You Can Expect

Family therapy will typically bring together several family members for therapy sessions. Not all members will be required for each session, and most therapists are willing to create a treatment plan that is flexible and takes into account the family’s schedule.

Most sessions are about an hour, and the overall goal is to facilitate positive change within a six-month period. Some families may meet once a week, every week, while others may meet less often or more often. How many session you’ll need will depend on your family’s particular needs and the recommendation of your therapist.

During family therapy, you can:

• Examine your family’s ability to problem solve and communicate thoughts and feelings in a healthy way
• Identify your family’s strengths and weaknesses
• Explore family roles, dynamics, rules and behavior patterns so that you can begin to spot issues that frequently contribute to conflict, as well as learn ways to work through them together

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Raising a teenager can be one of the most challenging experiences a parent will go through. Teenagers are in an awkward stage, dealing with hormonal changes that are out of their control and a developing brain. They’re awakening to new realizations about themselves and the world around them.

Teenage rebellion is a natural phase, however, handling it as a parent is anything but natural. If you’re struggling with raising an angry teen, here are some strategies that can help.

Keep Your Cool

It may be difficult to keep your cool when your teen is yelling at you, but as the adult, it’s important that you maintain control. Refrain from yelling, cursing, or name-calling your teen. Verbal abuse will only escalate the argument and will have a long-term impact on your child and your relationship. If your child is being verbally abusive, apply consequences to their behavior and speak in a calm, matter-of-fact tone.

Accountability, Not Control

Rather than trying to control your teen and their behavior, make them accountable. Set clear boundaries, and establish rules and consequences.

Listen

It can be difficult to listen when your child is yelling or angry. Your initial reaction may be to defend yourself or criticize. Rather than offering advice or judgment, actively listen to your teen. Be silent as they express themselves, and ask questions to better understand how they’re feeling. You can also calmly express that it’s difficult to listen to them when they’re angry and yelling. By genuinely trying to listen and understand them, you can teach them how to control their emotions and express themselves calmly.

Give Them Space

When your teen is angry and wants to storm off, let them go instead of following them and trying to continue or resolve the argument. It’s healthy for both of you to give each other space and time to cool off so you can revisit the discussion when you’re both feeling calmer.

Pick Your Battles

Your teen is going through a difficult phase, and needs empathy. Remember back to the times when you were a teen to help you empathize. There will be times when your teen is making a bigger deal of something than it needs to be, and as the adult it’s your job to know when to stand your ground, and when to let things go. Talk with your spouse to set boundaries and determine priorities of issues that can be compromised, and issues that are non-negotiable.

If you’re having difficulty with your angry teenager and want some help and guidance, call my office today so we can set up an appointment to talk.